Sports that Should be Added to the Olympics

Since when is skeet shooting an olympic sport? I’m not against the idea, especially seeing as the good ‘ole USA won gold in the women’s and men’s competition, I just wish someone would have told me. I’ve been noticing quite a few olympic sports this year that I had no idea existed. Can someone find me a list or something? Anyway, all these new revelations got me thinking about what other sports should be featured in the 2016 Olympics and I’ve come up with quite a lengthy list:

Olympic Bingo.

I’m tired of all these kiddos making me look like I haven’t accomplished anything in my life. You’re 15 and are the world AND Olympic champion? Way to make me look bad. It’s hard to look up to these athletes when I am their superior in age. Then I heard about the 79 year-old Olympic Equestrian from Japan and I was like, YES! Let’s get the elderly involved! And what better way than Olympic Bingo? Can you imagine the dentures tossing, walker-snatching antics of those athletes? I’d watch that. Jello could be the official sponsor!

Olympic Knitting.

We could clothe the homeless AND win medals! Can you imagine a bunch of women ferociously knitting away in a race for the most socks in 2 hours? Needles would be flying EVERYWHERE! Maybe even into other competitor’s eyes!

Olympic Hot Dog Eating.

I feel like we (USA) have had a pretty rough time at the Olympics this year relative to years past. So I think it’s time that we focus on what we’re good at: eating. I don’t know if you’ve ever watched a Hot Dog Eating contest on TV before but they get pretty intense. The only problem we’d face is that pesky asian guy who freak’n owns us every year. But if he’s Asian-American, maybe he could compete for us…

Olympic Chess.

WHY IS THIS NOT A SPORT!? Seriously. I realize that it takes no athletic ability but the Olympics is all about showing off how awesome your country is. Why not show the world we have brains, too?

Olympic Texting.

Goal: Competitors are asked to text a series of sentences, paragraphs, or whatever and whoever texts the fastest and with the fewest spelling errors, wins the gold! You’d have to decide if abbreviations or acronyms are allowed. You’d also need to decide on an official langauge to use. French is the official langauge of the Olympics (FUN FACT!) so you could use that. You would also need to choose a specific phone that everyone would use in order to be fair. Can you say “iPhone 5 – Olympics Edition”?

Olympic Spelling Bee.

This is by far my favorite. I LOVE watching the Scripp’s National Spelling Bee. Maybe it’s the homeschooler in me but it’s awesome. You’d have to solve the langauge issue again but I’d watch it. I wonder if India would own in the Olympics like they own here….

Murderball.

OK. For those of you who don’t know, Murderball, or “Wheelchair Rugby”, is in fact an official sport of the Paralympics. It’s HARDCORE. The athletes are in these ‘Mad Max’-like wheel chairs and ram into each other while tossing around the ball (some without any hands!). If they can do it, we can do it.

Olympic Dodgeball.

This would just be awesome. You would also be required to have spiffy uniforms/costumes and there would be a ‘Most Creative apparel’ award.

Olympic Ballroom Dancing.

It’s basically figure skating without the ice (or the skates). I’d love to see if the USA could out-tango Spain, if Norway could out-waltz the UK, or if France could out-Bollywood India.

Olympic ‘Rock-Paper-Scissors’.

Need I say more?

2 Comments Add yours

  1. Love this! I saw Olympic kayaking the other day and was like, “since when was this a sport?”

  2. Jonny says:

    DodgeBall should actually be there so WTF is that about?

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