I’m coming up on 2 years of marriage (crazy!) but the majority of my friends are still single. I have been so impressed and encouraged with how they have handled their undesired singleness. They have decided to take this season of waiting and turn it into a season of serving and working on their relationships with the Lord. But let’s be real: singleness is hard especially when every other day you either see a wedding announcement or baby announcement on Facebook.
At my church, we have a very large young adult population, hosting the largest Young Adult ministry in the metroplex. With such a large amount of young adult singles, the joke has always been that you often find your spouse at The Porch. And it’s often true. I found my husband at there. So with such a large group of Christian young men looking for wives and Christian young women looking for husbands, you’d think it would be easy to get a date or at least be asked to coffee. Apparently, not. Lately, the topic of discussion between my single girlfriends and I have been the lack of dating in their friend circles. Tons of solid dudes and tons of solid ladies, all looking for love, but no dates. So recently, I’ve had a few girlfriends dip their toes into the world of online dating just to see what the fishes in other ponds were like. SPOILER ALERT. They were shocked to see that the very men online looking for love were actually the men from church and in their social circles.
Look. I get it. Dating sucks and its hard. I’ve already told Joe that if anything happens to him, I will gladly become a cat lady in order to avoid the messy crap that is modern dating. But COME ON DUDES. There are literally hundreds of young, single women at your own church with admirable qualities who are chasing after the Lord’s own heart and are the epitome of a Proverbs 31 woman and you are on an ONLINE DATING SITE? WHAT!? This is completely unacceptable. The Porch preaches every year on dating and always challenges the guys to step up, to not be passive, and just ask a girl to coffee. So why aren’t the guys putting it into practice? In the Church, Christian women are taught that their role is to be pursued and the guys’ is to be the pursuer. So dudes: PURSUE. It is literally impossible that you’ve looked around your church of 15,000+ people (including 5,000+ singles) and decided, “I can’t seem to find anyone of quality worth taking to coffee. I should try [insert dating site here].” If you disagree with me, let me know and I will set you up on a date this weekend. My husband and I will even pay. Seriously. Take me up on the offer. I dare you. I have a long list of eligible Bachelorettes who would love to grab coffee. And they wouldn’t have weird jobs like “Aspiring Dolphin Trainer” or believe you can find true love on a reality show. These are real women who love the Lord.
To the guys out there: I get it. Rejection sucks. It’s about the only thing all humans can agree on these days but I think possibly missing out on ‘the girl next door’ is even worse. Online dating should be your last resort to finding love. All you have to do is ask a girl to coffee. I’ve surveyed my single friends and they have all said that they would not turn you down for coffee unless you remind them of a serial killer or a episode of Law & Order: SVU. So you have pretty good odds at this point. So take a look at yourself in the mirror, give yourself a good pep talk, and get after it.