If you know me well, you know I love to read.
When I was at Half Priced Books recently, I beelined it to the clearance section and quickly scanned the Religion section. This is my favorite section of the store. I like to see which books have found themselves here after weeks (or sometimes years) of collecting dust on the regular priced book shelves. Sometimes I’ll find books from disgraced pastors… as people have stopped buying their books. Sometimes I’ll find the entire original collection of the Left Behind books which always makes me chuckle (anyone else have ‘rapture anxiety’?). That day was my lucky day because I found a book that’s been on my “To Read” list for years: Adam and the Genome. Ancient humans and evolution have been a topic of interest to me ever since I married my geologist husband and found out Christians could believe the earth was older than 6,000 years old. When we met over ten years ago, I was still entrenched in my fundamentalist view of the world and his views on the earth and science scared the heck out of me. As any good Christian girl, I was evaluating his beliefs to determine whether or not he and I were “equally yoked” and the only item on the checklist that didn’t align was this one. And it was a DEAL BREAKER.
I grew up in Dallas, TX in a Christian family. My parents had both become believers a few years before I was born and raised me and my siblings as any fresh convert would: by the book (read Holy Book). I was homeschooled in a tight knit church community and from an early age, I remember the tension that existed between science and faith. Whether it was from the pulpit, in my homeschool science textbooks, or from friends and family, I was told that Science was the enemy. My greatest defense against it was to the learn the Scriptures well enough to be able to hold firm to my beliefs if and when I went to college. Whether it was reading resources from Answers in Genesis and Creation museums or knowing the “many” reasons why carbon dating was bad science, Christian kids from my era were well trained on the Young Earth view of the world and Evolution was Enemy #1.
A few memories stand out to me about science and my childhood/early adulthood. I remember going into any secular museum as a kid and reading the plaques on the dinosaurs, etc and reminding myself that all the dates I saw were lies and were written by scientists who refused to admit God was real. I also remember in college, having a friendly debate with some friends where they learned I believed in a 6,000 year old earth and they were flabbergasted. I was apparently the only person they had ever met who still believed this. But I also remember that despite how prepared I was on defending the faith and how sure I was that the Bible and God were real, “Science” really freaked me out and I avoided it as much as possible. I have always been a pretty curious person but when it came to anything related to the sciences, I shut down that part of myself. I didn’t ask any questions because I truthfully had a ton of them. Deep down, the ‘answers’ that I was taught didn’t sit well with me and just gave me more questions. In my mind, Christianity had been set against Science for so long that any fact on the “Team Science” meant “Team Jesus” would fail. And that was a risk I did not want to take. So when I met my husband, Joe, that was the first time I had ever met a Christian scientist who believed mainstream science. My first thought: He is going to hell.
In an effort to save his soul and correct his “heretical beliefs”, I peppered him with questions about evolution, the age of the earth, carbon dating, etc throughout the 2.5 years we dated. He would gracefully and patiently answer my questions with knowledge and facts that far exceeded mine. Anytime we would enter into one of these discussions (always at my instigation), I would grow frustrated and irritable. He on the other hand, remained calm and collected. I wasn’t able to verbalize it at the time, but my frustration wasn’t just because he was smarter than me. My frustration was from the fact that he was able to believe mainstream science and remain fully convinced that the God of the Bible was real. I, on the other hand, was slowly spiraling into a faith crisis. Joe saw science as something that brought him closer to God. I saw it as something trying to lead me away from God. How could something that I was taught was the enemy, be the thing that lead Joe to Christ?
Now this is usually the part of the blog where the author lays out all the science, all the resources, and all the arguments, to prove their point of view. And yes, I’ll include some resources I’ve found helpful in my journey, but I’m not a scientist nor an expert in any capacity. I do, however, have my story and I know, from talking with others, that its not unique. Many of us grew up within conservative evangelicalism and were trained (whether knowingly or unknowingly) to have a hostile view of the sciences. Science is consistently ranked as one of the top 5 reasons young people walk away from the faith. I know I could have easily walked away had I not had my husband’s patience and the Grace of God. But this doesn’t have to be the case. Science is not the enemy of Faith. If you are reading this and you are struggling with this tension, rest in knowing that God loves you and invites your questions. In fact, He enjoys them. Studying the way things work and asking life’s big questions can help us recognize our need for a Savior. Over the last ten years, I’ve learned to release my firm grip on having all the answers and allowed them to lead me closer to God.
Being able to buy a book called Adam and the Genome would have been unthinkable to me 15 years ago. The idea of cracking that book open would have filled me with so much anxiety and dread. But now I am at a place where my questions don’t scare me. In fact, my questions lead me to marvel at our wonderful God, the world, and creatures He created. I still struggle with the tension between faith and all my questions, but God is using it to loosen my grip on my certainty and open my eyes to the wonder of true faith. I’m learning to not only be ok with His mysteriousness but to welcome it.
“Now faith is the reality of what is hoped for, the proof of what is not seen.” – Hebrews 11:1
Some Helpful Resources:
Biologos
The Lost World Series by John Walton
Bible Project Classroom (Classes on Genesis 1 & 2)
Batir We Go 
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